Choices

This picture was taken over Mother's Day weekend on my phone......by someone else. The river was low that day and as a result the obstacles that are often buried beneath the surface were clearly visible. I simply was not prepared either physically or even materialistically to climb the rocks to be able to see the beauty of the full picture. I didn't know rock climbing was on the agenda so I had to stick to the areas that my flimsy canvas sneakers limited me to, which added to the already obvious health related ones. Choices I'd made in the past limited me. Choices I'd been making for years when I'd chose a soda instead of water, fried chicken instead of grilled, fries instead of steamed veggies, etc. all lead to my obesity that limited my ability to enjoy one of my favorite childhood activities, hiking in the mountains. The other choice was my footwear. I chose to take my flimsy sneakers instead of my supportive ones. The result was I couldn't even reach my physical ability because I had no ankle support. Ergo I limited my enjoyment of the day when it finally arrived. Don't get me wrong, I still had a blast that weekend, but I felt the sting of it. I had to have help getting this picture, among others, because of things that were completely within my control. I don't want to stay this way. I have choices to make if I want this to change. Hard choices are going to be made, choices that affect not just me, but those that depend on me. I am not used to being a single parent anymore and I'm afraid. Even after over a year of being separated I'm not used to being quite so alone. I've let fear keep me down and in truth to some degree I still do. I have a choice to make, either start doing things afraid, or to stay dependent on others. In this picture the river is still free, she is flowing despite that she is weakened, she has obstacles in front of her and all around her, but still she keeps flowing forward. I am determined to be a river of life to those that depend on me. It will take work. There will be highs. There will be lows. I am determined to keep moving forward, no matter how slow I may be.

I can do all things through Him that strengthens me. Philippians 4:13 NASB