The Beginning of Finding Me

Okay, ya'll, yes that's me and yeah, it's a before and after, and yeah I'm still a BIG girl. These were taken before and after the beachbody 21 day Fix round one. I didn't lose massive amounts of weight. I didn't go through it like a hot knife through butter. It hurt. It hurt a lot that second day. The shakeology, yeah, that stuff is expensive, I know. I buy it once a month. In fact I wiggle my finances around so that I can. No, it's not some super miracle mixture that melts fat. What did that was the getting my fat butt on the ground and screaming at Autumn Calabrese that I hated her, that she was a...........well we can't print those words here. I did that for a week, then by week two I still hated her, but I wasn't swearing at her anymore, by the end of 21 days I liked her.......except when it came to burpees.......yeah, still glare at her while I attempt those. Those things are evil. What the shakeology did, and does is help me have the energy to get my fat butt up and do them, and they taste good too. And for the record I told my coach I'd not be buying it again if it didn't taste good. (I didn't get fat by eating bad tasting food. I need flavor people or it just doesn't happen, not even a little.) My first shake was nasty, but I tried chocolate and I hate (can't stress this enough) chocolate shakes. I made it with water, and it was warm. I had no ice. I didn't hold it against the product though because I don't know a right minded person that would expect a shake made with water, let alone warm water, to taste good. Day 2 caffee latte flavor with almond milk, blitzed with ice and I was sold. Then a vanilla one I'd added berries to and I was hooked. So yeah, dropped my vitamin pill and picked up a shakeology. In all honesty it works better anyway, and I don't have the gag reflex thing happening when I take anything bigger than a tic tac. Great taste, and no gag reflex win - win.

My stats (and yeah, I'm looking at the actual paperwork):

Day 1                                                                      Day 21

weight: 360 lb                                                         345 lb

chest: 53"                                                                50.5"

waist: 51.5"                                                             49"

hips: 67.5"                                                               62"

thigh - r: 38"                                                            35.5"

thigh - l: 39"                                                            34.5"

arm - r: 18.75"                                                         17.5"

arm - l: 18.5"                                                           17.5"

I did that. It was not a shakeology drink, not some super pill, not some wishful positive thinking mumbo jumbo. That was MY sweat, MY tears, MY four letter words, MY refusal to die. 

You see what prompted this was my health. I took my blood pressure one morning and it was almost off the chart. I fought with my teen son almost all day that day afterwards. The second time I took it the little card that came with the cuff said I needed to go to the ER. I didn't have the money to. I was scared. I'd just lost my best friend on July 2, 2013 to a massive heart attack. So the reality was still fresh. (Still is actually. I miss her.) She left behind two wonderful children and a bunch of heart broken friends. Her passing shook me, because she was smaller and healthier than I was/am. When I saw my blood pressure that evening I knew I was and am a ticking time bomb. I began thinking about how I got there, and I realized somewhere I'd lost me. I was mom, wifey for a very long time, homeschooler, den leader, and nursery volunteer, but outside of things and relationships to others no real clue, even my hobbies were extensions of someone else or their needs. Then with separating from a 15 year marriage (at that time), financial problems, on going anemia, and fear of the unknown I'd seized up and gotten lost somewhere almost completely. I'd had glimpses, certainly, just enough to give me the courage I needed to take a chance on me. So when this dark haired, super sweet lady, told me about beachbody I listened. I'm still listening. There have been hiccups for certain it took a long time of building bad habits to get into bad shape. I know it won't happen overnight. I don't mind. I don't even mind that since then I've only been able to lose 3 pounds and lost some ground on the inches in some places. I've had some major life changes and I count it a victory I have maintained. I know where I was. I know where I am, I know I'm getting stronger, and I know where I am going. I am finding me and reaching out to others like me.